essays I know writers who use subtext, and they're all cowards. Garth Marenghi programming Wherein I implement a continuation-based web serving library based on an old paper but in a language people use while somehow also involving rxjs; (Draft) Wherein I model computational effects with the continuation monad and lay the groundwork for an effects system in the next article as the world around me descends into mayhem and finally matches the level of anxiety I already had for it; Wherein I implement a DSL for interacting with the Twitter API and use that to gently introduce the reader to monad transformers, knowing full well that nothing will bring back soap shoes and that the little bit of light left on this Earth will only follow their lead soon enough; Wherein I motivate and implement a streaming PID controller in Haskell using arrows and my bespoke tubes library, ignorant of my own impending decay and the infinite shrieking silence that awaits us all; Wherein I complete my symphony of tedium started in the previous article and implement the heart of operational transformation, in between eternities of crippling silence from what I used to believe was a loving God in response to my cries for help; Wherein I construct a language and interpreter for document edits in preparation for an operational transform algorithm and finally emotionally process the idea that forgiveness is fundamentally a choice; Wherein I construct a list data structure based on Church encodings, implement list transformation functions in terms of list destruction, and invent list comprehensions from scratch in less than 20 lines of JavaScript all the while finally digging that glass out of my foot from middle school; Wherein I define numbers, arithmetic, and basic data structures in JavaScript using the lambda calculus and proceed to dissociate for several hours in a Wendy's parking lot; Wherein I use Löb's theorem to compute inverted fixpoints and end up recreating a lame version of Excel, accepting my mortality in a healthy way; Wherein I define recursion from the λ calculus without using explicit names and somehow ended up writing Finnegan's Wake; Wherein I motivate, define, and implement monads in Typed Racket to demonstrate that they aren't scary, while I simultaneously polish off a bottle of pinot grigio with my roommate's cat; Wherein I define functors using only algebraic data types - not type classes - and proceed to derive free monads from them; misc The Mathematics of Bicycle Gears I am old